


Take What You Want

by TonySawicki



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Hand Jobs, Love Confessions, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:15:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9247550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonySawicki/pseuds/TonySawicki
Summary: When someone finally notices Die's habit of staring at Kyo, he might have to finally own up to why he's been looking





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything~  
> Hey guys! Love you all, you know I like hearing from you, please enjoy!

Die absently turned a couple of pages in the book he was pretending to read. He hadn’t actually registered a word of the text, but every time he could think to, he would make a bit of a show of how engrossed in it he was. In reality his attentions were pretty focused on the diminutive vocalist who had been sitting at the table across the aisle of the bus from him for most of the afternoon, scribbling lyrics in a notebook and sketching on and off.

As evening fell and the bus grew darker, Kyo took out his laptop and started typing some of the lyrics from his notebook into a document, editing as he went. Die sighed as he, too, had to admit that it had become too dark on the bus for him to reasonably continue wearing sunglasses. He pushed his shades up on top of his head and shifted on the couch so he could still watch Kyo out of the corner of his eye.

After another hour or so, people started moving towards the bunks at the back of the bus. They would be driving through the night, so they might as well turn in early. Shinya waved a quiet goodnight to them all and disappeared, Kaoru heading off not long after with a firm suggestion that the others do the same fairly soon.

Die knew the warning was intended for him in particular as he was usually the last to head to bed. Years of insomnia had forced him to adapt into someone who didn’t honestly need all that much sleep to function. He smiled and nodded as Kaoru retired, then looked back at the book in his lap. Only then did he realize it was so dark in the bus that his charade of reading had been totally unfeasible for at least the past hour. Eyes widening slightly, he closed the book and stretched, thinking finally to pull out his phone instead. He began idly scrolling through Twitter, his eyes still glued on Kyo.

He was facing mostly away from Die, his glasses on, leaning one elbow on the table, his chin against his tattooed knuckles. Die tried to keep this image of him, taking in every detail. He loved seeing him like this, lost in thought, laid back, without layer upon layer of stage persona surrounding him. Die’s rapt memorization of Kyo’s features was abruptly interrupted as Toshiya stood in front of him.

“I’m turning in,” he said, and leaned down to give Die a one-armed hug, muttering in his ear, “Dude, how long have you been staring at him?”

Die didn’t succeed in keeping his face totally neutral as he held Toshiya where he was. He briefly considered playing innocent, telling Toshiya he was being ridiculous, but he realized it was futile, and instead hissed, “How could you tell?” He’d actually thought he was being pretty discreet.

Toshiya snorted quietly. “Besides the part where you were ‘reading’ your book in the dark for 90 minutes and still barely flipped three pages? You’ve been sitting in the same spot for six hours and every time he moves you look up to see if he’s leaving. You’ve got it bad, don’t you?”

“Shit,” Die said. “Is it really that obvious?”

“‘fraid so. And with that, I’m off to bed.” Toshiya gave Die’s shoulder one more squeeze then as he whispered, “Oh, and Die… I’m _pretty_ sure he knows too.” He smirked a little as he pulled away.

Die tried to keep the expression of horror off his face as he watched Toshiya waving to Kyo with a “goodnight!” which the vocalist returned with a small smile and a slight inclination of his head. The dim blue-tinted overhead bus lights came on automatically just as Toshiya was disappearing into the bathroom.

Now that it was just him and Kyo left at the front of the bus, Die leaned back against the arm of the couch, relaxing some. Kyo was still turned away from him, and he’d probably be heading to his bunk soon, so Die didn’t feel as self-conscious watching him for this last short while.

Sure enough, it was hardly ten minutes later when Kyo took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes as he closed his laptop and then started arranging everything in his computer bag on the seat next to him. Die felt a twinge of disappointment, knowing his time watching Kyo for the day was coming rapidly to an end. He turned his attention actually to his phone as Kyo stood up, listening to the sounds of him moving things around instead.

When he finally heard footsteps and then quiet, he accepted that Kyo had at last headed back to go to bed, and went about checking his email on his phone, responding to a couple things, deleting a lot of unimportant stuff. Thinking on it, he wasn’t totally sure when or how his obsession with his bandmate had started. At first he’d been content to sneak peeks at him during performances, completely entranced by how fully he threw himself into the music. But the raw emotional connection he saw him creating night after night soon had him wanting to see more. He’d known Kyo for years, but then he knew as well as anyone that there were layers of him that he showed more or less frequently. 

Lately Die had taken to watching him every free moment, hoping to see more layers revealed when the smaller man didn’t think anyone was looking. Sometimes it worked, too, as he’d catch the soft smile on Kyo’s face when he flipped through photos on his phone, or the excitement in his eyes when there was any type of dog in the vicinity and he’d do anything in his power to get close enough to pet it.

Die had eventually come to accept that he’d fallen in love with Kyo. Every time he watched him his mind was a constant echo of _I love you I love you I love you_ ; he almost hoped Kyo would somehow hear it and turn that soft smile on him.

He finished up with his email and exited out of it, closing his eyes and sitting up on the couch. He took his sunglasses off his head and tossed them on the cushions next to him before leaning his head against the back of the seat with a sigh and staying like that for a minute, giving a start when he heard someone clear their throat.

He opened his eyes to see Kyo sitting in the chair across the aisle, directly facing him. He looked relaxed, his forearms resting on his knees, an almost amused expression on his face.

When he had Die’s attention he smiled a little unrealistically and said, “Oh, hey, Die!” as if he’d just seen the other. 

Die shifted uncomfortably, wondering, somewhat hypocritically, just how long Kyo had been sitting there looking at him like that. “Hey there, Kyo,” he managed nervously. “What’s going on?”

Kyo shrugged, the hint of a smile still playing on his lips. “You tell me.”

Die didn’t say anything to that.

“Daisuke,” Kyo said expectantly. “Is there a _reason_ you’ve been staring at me all day?”

_Shit_ , Die thought. _He does know_. He almost laughed at himself. _Of course he knows. What, you think_ _Toshiya_ _would notice and Kyo would remain oblivious? Interesting fantasy there, Die._

He hadn’t answered, and Kyo was still looking at him, waiting, something he couldn’t quite put a name to glinting in his dark eyes. After a moment he stood up, using his height to feel he was regaining some control over the situation. He took a couple steps over to the kitchen area, leaning against the counter there. He scoffed, “Staring?”

Kyo leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other, unimpressed. “I’d say so. It’s one thing to watch me on stage when I’m obviously engaged in a performance, aware that everything I do can be examined. It’s a little different looking at me the way you have been, spying on me without my go-ahead.” Despite his words, he didn’t look angry. He waited for Die to explain himself.

Die bent to get a bottle of water out of the mini fridge and then leaned against the counter again as he cracked it open, stalling for time as he tried to come up with any excuse for why he’d had his eyes on Kyo all day besides _I love you I love you I love you_. “Well, the thing is,” he said eventually. “I have been observing you. For this project I’m working on.”

“Project?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking I might write something—not now, but someday. A book with facts and stories about all the members of Dir en grey,” Die said, the lie coming more easily once he started it. “I’ve been switching off watching everyone.”

Kyo’s face was unreadable as he said, “Is that so?”

“Oh yeah.” Die laughed, “I could tell you some stories from when I was watching Kaoru, phew!”

“I bet you could,” Kyo smiled in a way that was sort of unsettling.

“Definitely, found out some interesting stuff there.”

“Like what?” Kyo asked without missing a beat, the unsettling smile still on his face.

Die nearly choked on his water. “Like what? Like, did you know—” His mind worked frantically as he tried not to lose his poise on the outside. “Did you know, Kaoru, um—” He coughed once, and then held out his hand, willing some kind of words to come out of his mouth. “—Smokes.” He tried not to wince as he looked at Kyo.

“Wow,” Kyo said, uncrossing his legs and standing. “You know, I also heard—but it might just be a rumor of course—that he _plays the guitar_.” He raised his eyebrows meaningfully at Die.

There wasn’t really anything to say to that, so Die just let out a light laugh as Kyo walked towards him. His fingers tightened on the water bottle as Kyo stopped right in front of him and looked up at his face.

“Is that what you’re going to stick with then?” Kyo asked softly, his hand running along the edge of Die’s cardigan, over the buttons there. “A project about the band. No other reason?”

Die swallowed, extremely nervous to have Kyo standing so close to him. It was easy to watch him from a safe distance, but having him near enough that he could smell the faint scent of his sparingly-used cologne made Die almost dizzy. He shook his head. “What other reason would there be? That’s all there is to it.”

Kyo gave him a rather sad smile then and took a step back. “All right.” He walked over to pick up his computer bag from the table, slinging it over his shoulder as he looked back at Die. “Goodnight,” he said, and walked off toward the bunks.

Die watched him go, feeling frozen to the spot. What was he doing? Letting Kyo walk away when he only ever wanted to keep him? Here was Kyo was giving him a chance to state his case and he was watching the opportunity pass him by. Everything that had come out of his mouth was lies and foolishness, but what else could he tell him? _I love you I love you I—_

“Kyo, wait,” he heard himself say. Kyo was halfway down the aisle, but he stopped, turning to look back at Die. Die took a deep breath and set the water bottle down on the counter.“There might… be another reason.”

Kyo looked at him patiently, not moving.

Die jerked his head, gesturing for Kyo to come back. He didn’t really want to try shouting this conversation across the bus while everyone was sleeping.

Kyo strolled back towards him, setting his bag on the bench at the table once again as he passed it. “What’s the other reason, then?”

As soon as he was within arm’s reach, Die grabbed Kyo by the front of his jacket and yanked him towards him. “This,” Die breathed, and without hesitating another second he was kissing him, pulling him flush against his body. He poured his overflowing emotions into it, pushing his tongue into Kyo’s mouth and tasting him. 

Aside from a startled gasp, Kyo gave no indication that this wasn’t something he’d planned. His hands splayed across Die’s ribs and he leaned up into it, kissing Die back passionately. After a minute he pulled back, a little smirk on his lips. “And what does ‘this’ mean, exactly?”

Die loosened his grip on Kyo’s jacket, smoothing his hands down his chest instead. “What does it mean for you?” He asked, his breathing a little shallow.

Kyo tilted his head, considering. “You’re one of my best friends, I trust you, and I’m obviously extremely attracted to you.” He grinned, pinching Die’s side briefly.

Die squeaked, jerking away from the pinch and then laughed. He studied Kyo as he said, “But I thought… You’re straight?”

Kyo raised an eyebrow at him. “And what, in all your years of knowing me, would make you think that I would be limited sexually to a single gender?”

“I don’t know,” Die answered. “You’re kind of… traditional?”

Kyo narrowed his eyes at him and they both burst out laughing.

“You are though, in ways!” Die said, regaining his composure. “You know what I mean.”

“I guess so,” Kyo said, still smirking. “Just tell that to the people at the onsen.” Die laughed again and when he settled Kyo prodded him. “Really though, what is this?”

Die tugged a little at a few strands of hair in Kyo’s face. He tried to translate _I love you I love you_ into something that felt more appropriate and finally said, “I want you. All of you, in every way imaginable.”

At that Kyo grabbed the front of Die’s shirt and pulled him down to his level a bit roughly. “Then take what you want,” He said in a low voice, his lips almost brushing Die’s.

That seemed to flip a switch in Die and in an instant he had Kyo turned and backed up against the counter, one hand at the smaller man’s hip, one guiding him pushing against the center of his chest. His mouth was closed over Kyo’s, all but devouring him, only pulling back to take Kyo’s lower lip between his teeth, tugging and biting at it. Kyo kept one hand fisted in Die’s shirt, the other against Die’s shoulder blade, trying to pull him even closer. Die shifted his stance to press his hips against Kyo’s, grinding on him as he licked along his jawline. 

Kyo closed his eyes, shuddering a little as Die’s tongue traced over him. He let go of Die’s shirt, sliding his hand down his abdomen and stopping with his fingers hooked on Die’s belt.

Die suddenly took hold of Kyo’s hair and yanked his head back and to the side, causing him to inhale sharply and dig his nails into Die’s back. Then Die was biting down hard right at the juncture of Kyo’s neck and shoulder and Kyo couldn’t stifle the rather loud moan that erupted from him. It only spurred Die on and he slipped one hand up under Kyo’s shirt to tweak a nipple.

“ _Shit_ , Die,” Kyo hissed through gritted teeth, his hips jerking. “Is it your goal for Kaoru to come out here and stop us or what? You’re making it really hard—” Die pinched his nipple again— “Ahh!— to stay quiet.”

“Mm, making it really hard, I noticed,” Die murmured against Kyo’s ear, moving his hand from Kyo’s nipples down to the front of his jeans, groping at his hardening cock.

Kyo bit back another moan. “Nngg—really, Die?” He let out a huff of a laugh and pushed up into Die’s touch. 

Honestly Die loved all the sounds the vocalist was making. All he wanted was to keep finding ways to get him to make more and louder noises over and over, preferably until he was screaming Die’s name, desperately and/or while writhing in ecstasy. He’d quite forgotten that there were other people on the bus and that they could be easily interrupted. But he didn't want to stop anything he was doing. “Maybe you just need to shut up,” he said quietly, still rubbing at the crotch of Kyo’s pants. It was a bit of a risk, he thought, talking to Kyo like that, but maybe he’d already been risking enough anyway.

“Yeah maybe you should _shut_ me up,” Kyo answered back, and licked over the shell of Die’s ear before letting out a whine as Die continued to grab at him rather harshly.

Die quieted him with a bruising kiss, taking note of how his rough handling of him seemed to really turn Kyo on. He hooked his hands behind Kyo’s thighs and hoisted him easily onto the counter, delving his tongue deeper into his mouth. He quickly worked Kyo’s jacket off of him and tossed it aside while Kyo did the same, ridding Die of his sweater, letting it drop to the floor. Kyo held onto Die’s biceps and wrapped his legs loosely around Die’s thighs, keeping him close even as he broke the kiss to catch his breath.

Die slid a hand up under Kyo’s shirt again, running his fingertips up over the smooth skin, feeling the slight tremble of tensed muscles before raking his nails back down over the toned flesh hard enough to break the skin. Just as Kyo started to cry out, Die’s free hand was clapped over his mouth, and he looked into the guitarist’s face with wide eyes.

“I don’t want to hear another fucking sound out of you unless I tell you to make it, understand?” Die said in a tone that showed he was not to be disobeyed. 

Arousal flashed in Kyo’s eyes, just tinged with fear, and he nodded.

“Good,” Die said, but he kept his hand where it was over Kyo’s mouth as his other hand drifted down to start unbuckling Kyo’s belt. Kyo let go of Die’s arms and moved eagerly to help get his belt and pants unfastened. Die chuckled at him. “That desperate for me to touch your cock? Good boy.” He wasn’t sure where this confidence was coming from, how he’d found it in himself to boss Kyo around like this, but he was beyond backing down now, and the look in Kyo’s eyes was enough to keep him from regretting anything he said.

Once his fly was undone, Kyo moved to hold onto the edge of the counter while Die dipped a hand into Kyo’s jeans, fondling him through his boxer briefs, keeping his touch light and teasing now. Kyo bucked his hips, a tiny muffled whimper coming from behind Die’s hand over his mouth.

Die smiled as he finally pulled Kyo’s underwear out of the way, tucking them down under his balls and leaving him exposed. He leaned in so he could lick up Kyo’s neck to his ear as he started stroking him. “You’re so hard for me already,” he whispered. He swiped his thumb over the head, making Kyo tighten his grip on the edge of the counter. He stopped to spit into his hand, keeping his eyes on Kyo’s as he grabbed his rigid cock once more and began jerking him off at a fairly fast pace. 

Kyo kept up his little gasps and moans against Die’s hand, squirming continuously as the guitarist worked his cock. He finally broke eye contact, letting his head fall back as Die moved lower, cupping and squeezing his sac. 

Die could feel his own arousal pressing almost painfully against the front of his pants. He was somewhat stunned by how quickly Kyo had turned to putty in his hands, not having expected him to be so needy, although he certainly didn’t mind. He went back to stroking Kyo as he licked and sucked here and there at his neck, coming to his Adam’s apple and sucking at it a bit harder, though not enough to leave a mark.

Kyo made a low sound in his throat and thrust into Die’s hand a little more.

Die grazed Kyo’s Adam’s apple with his teeth before continuing on to lick down to his collarbone, just visible above the collar of his v-neck. He spent a short while there, the angle a little awkward with his hand still covering Kyo’s mouth. Then he lifted his head to whisper in Kyo’s ear again, “It really is too bad everyone else is on the bus tonight. There’s so much I’d like to do to you if I had you alone…”

Kyo lifted his head, trying to look at Die out of the corner of his eye, a thin whine escaping him.

“Like I’d have you bent over this counter, my dick buried balls-deep in that tight ass of yours,” Die went on. He could tell Kyo was close and tried to keep his pace steady as he kept moving his hand over his cock. “But with no one else on board I’d have you screaming the whole time, as loud as you wanted.” Kyo’s hands were suddenly gripping the front of Die’s shirt again and he leaned back a little to see the smaller man’s face. Kyo’s eyes were wide and desperate and he was bucking his hips up to meet Die’s hand almost frantically. Die grinned. He licked his lips before murmuring, “Are you gonna lose it? Gonna make a sticky mess all over yourself? Go on. I want to see you.” 

That was all it took and Kyo was flying over the edge, convulsing as thick ropes of cum shot out of his cock, all over his shirt and jeans, some running down Die’s hand. He clung to Die’s shirt panting as Die finally uncovered his mouth and ran his hand over Kyo’s back soothingly. 

Die smiled as he leaned in to place a kiss on Kyo’s forehead. “You’re beautiful,” he said softly.

Kyo raised his head to look at Die, and he scooted forward to slide off the counter. Die took a step back to let Kyo down and gasped as Kyo grabbed his cock through his jeans. The vocalist’s slender hands deftly unbuckled Die’s belt as he stared at him, whispering, “Let me take care of you,” before dropping to his knees in front of him.

Somehow Die hadn’t expected this at all, and had to bite down on his fist to stifle some of his own moans as Kyo started nuzzling his crotch, mouthing at the head of his arousal through the material of his jeans.

After a moment Kyo got his fly open and pulled his pants and boxers halfway down his thighs, revealing Die’s hard cock with a small sigh. He leaned in without hesitating, taking most of it into his mouth in one go. Die could only stare as Kyo started bobbing his head, flicking his dark eyes up to meet Die’s. Kyo ran his hands lightly up and down Die’s thighs, caressing, feeling. He sucked harder, cheeks hollowing as he moved his tongue along the underside of Die’s length. 

Die let out a quiet groan, unable to really think at all, just letting Kyo go at him, lost in the sensation of that perfect mouth so hot and wet surrounding him.

Kyo hummed a little and the vibration had Die almost losing it. He brought both hands to rest on Kyo’s head, just keeping him still for a moment so he could collect himself. Kyo paused, his eyes still on Die’s face, then took the opportunity to play lightly with Die’s balls.

Die’s hips jerked and he let out a gasp as he realized he had accidentally thrust into Kyo’s mouth. Kyo didn’t seem to mind though, and he reached back behind Die’s sac and started gently prodding around his entrance as he resumed bobbing his head over his cock.

Everything was happening at once and Die had already been so close it didn’t take long for him to become overwhelmed. His fingers tightened in Kyo’s hair and he let out a low moan of Kyo’s name, unable to form any other words to let him know he was about to reach his end.

Kyo seemed to understand anyway, pulling back enough that Die’s release would hit his tongue rather than shooting down his throat.

And then Die was cumming, biting his lip to keep in the scream that wanted out, his thighs trembling as Kyo swallowed everything he gave him.

When he was sure he was done, Kyo pulled all the way off and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He smirked some as he helped Die get his pants back up, and made sure he was properly tucked in as well.

Feeling rather exhausted, Die went and sank back down on the couch, letting his head fall back against the seat and his eyes close. After a moment he felt Kyo settling on the couch beside him, his hand stroking over Die’s thigh. Die cracked his eyes open and peered at Kyo, frowning a little.

“You weren’t just fucking with me, right?” he asked.

Kyo looked at him with raised eyebrows. “I mean, I think that pretty much describes what just happened…” 

“But like, you’re not gonna start laughing, and say the whole thing was a joke?”

“You think I’d do that?” Kyo said with a frown.

Die shook his head. “I don’t really. But I don’t know.” He sighed. “This was more to me than that.”

“More than a joke? Yeah, I’d say so.”

“More than a joke, more than…” Die straightened up, looking at Kyo seriously. “I love you, okay?”

Kyo met his eyes unflinchingly and then leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips. He smiled as he pulled away. “I think I made it clear I feel the same way.”

Die tilted his head, confused. “You never said…”

“‘You're one of my best friends,’” Kyo stared up at the ceiling as he recited his words from earlier in the evening. “‘I trust you.’” He smirked at Die. “‘Let me take care of you.’ What does all that mean, if not ‘I love you’?”

Die felt his cheeks heat up. “I didn’t realize that… was what it meant.”

Kyo looped his arms around Die’s neck, nuzzling his shoulder. “You get too hung up on words.”

“You may be right,” Die said, putting an arm around Kyo, just holding him close. “How long…?”

Kyo shrugged. “A while. I’ve just been waiting on you.” He kissed Die’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.”

“Don’t be.” Kyo lifted his head to grin at Die. “You’re always worth the wait. And maybe next time time we won’t be on the tour bus.”

Die laughed at that and watched Kyo contentedly as he settled against his shoulder again. He no longer had to hide the way he was looking, and he was sure in a way that Kyo could hear every _I love you_ that radiated off him. He should have known Kyo wouldn’t be scared off so easily.


End file.
